5 of the steamiest sex positions for gay men, according to a sex therapist

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This article was medically reviewed by Sara Rosen, LCSW, CST, a certified sex therapist with her own private practice in New York City. Medically Reviewed Reviewed By Check Mark Icon A check mark. It indicates that the relevant content has been reviewed and verified by an expert Our stories are reviewed by medical professionals to ensure you get the most accurate and useful information about your health and wellness. For more information, visit our medical review board.

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  • A great gay sex position is adapted missionary, which can stimulate the anal G-spot.
  • You can also try giving your partner an erotic butt massage as foreplay or the main event.
  • Side-by-side penetrative sex can be comfortable while also allowing for deep penetration.

Experimenting with new sex positions is an easy way to make things more interesting in the bedroom. 

In fact, studies show that long-term couples who try out new sex positions are more likely to feel satisfied and passionate in their sex lives. 

And if you and your partner both have penises, there are plenty of options you can try to switch up your usual routine.

Here are five sex positions that can maximize your pleasure and spice up your sex life.

1. Lotus

Step-by-step: 

  • Sit with your knees bent out to the sides and the bottoms of your feet touching, much like a butterfly position in yoga. 
  • Your partner will then sit in your lap, facing you, and wrap their legs around your back. It's important to note that your partner will need to sit close enough that you can reach their anus for penetration.

    • When you're in this position, "it's helpful to have the top person set a rhythm for thrusting since they have more ability to tilt their hips back and forth," says Sari Cooper, LCSW, a certified sex therapist and founder of Center for Love and Sex in NYC.

    A bonus of this position is that your face is very close to your partner's, giving you the chance to get extra intimate. "There is a lot of opportunity for eye-gazing and deep kissing and hand stroking," Cooper says.

    2. Side by side penetrative sex

    Step-by-step: 

  • Lie on your back with one leg extended and the other leg bent at the knee.
  • Bring the bent leg as far as you can toward your shoulder, using your hand to hold the knee if needed.
  • Your partner then lies on their side, facing towards you with their body perpendicular to yours. From this angle, they can slide their penis into your anus.

    • "This position allows both partners to lie down so it's less effort and certainly easier for folks who may not have a lot of core strength," says Cooper.

    Another perk of this position is that "it can allow for deeper penetration since the receiving partner has created more opening with the raised leg," Cooper says.

    However, it can also be a little painful at first for the receiving partner so breathing deeply to relax the anus muscles is a huge help. Therefore, Cooper recommends taking it slow at first until you and your partner get the hang of it.

    3. Missionary

    With a couple of tweaks, this classic position works just as well for two people with penises as it does for any other couple.

    Step-by-step: 

  • Your partner should lie on their back with their knees bent and their legs in the air.
  • You can then kneel or lie forward-facing them, so that their knees rest against your shoulders and your penis can easily reach the anus for penetration.

    • This position is great because it offers intense eye contact and intimacy with your partner. The angle is also ideal for you to stimulate your partner's prostate, also known as the male G-spot, for an intense orgasm.

     4. Butt massage

    The butt massage position can be used for foreplay or it can be the main event, depending on what you and your partner want.

    Step-by-step: 

  • Start by having your partner lie on their stomach with their legs spread. 
  • Then, sit or lie in between their legs so that both of your hands are free.
  • Once you're in position, you can massage your partner's butt with your hand or any other toys you want to use.
  • Gradually begin to massage the anus rim to tease and relax your partner.

    • For simultaneous pleasure, you can use one hand to stroke your own penis while giving the massage, says Cooper.

    This position works best if the partner giving the massage checks in about how their partner feels and the receiving partner gives guidance on what feels good for them, Cooper says.

     5. Kneeling oral sex

    If you and your partner want to skip penetration and stick to oral sex, the kneeling position is a great option, Cooper says.

     Step-by-step: 

  • Have your partner lie on their back
  • Kneel over them with your knees on either side of their head. You'll need to bring your penis close enough to your partner's face so that they can easily reach it with their mouth. 

    • This is a great position because it leaves both of the bottom partner's hands-free, so they can stroke their own penis while giving oral sex.

    The top partner can also hold on to a headboard, giving them more leverage in thrusting while the bottom partner is licking and sucking, which may up their pleasure, Cooper says.

    Insider's takeaway

     There are plenty of great sex positions for two people with penises to try, including positions that involve oral, anal, and foreplay. 

    When trying out new positions, you should always keep an open line of communication to make sure that both you and your partner are comfortable. 

    "The critical element of any pleasurable sex is to clarify limits and boundaries ahead of time," Cooper says. It's also best to keep up clear communication with your partner so you can learn what feels best for them.

    Madeline Kennedy Madeline Kennedy is a health writer for Insider covering a wide range of topics including reproductive and sexual health, mental health, nutrition, and infectious disease. Before joining Insider, Madeline worked as a health news writer for Reuters, and a domestic violence therapist. She has a master's degree in social work from UPenn and is interested in the intersection of health and social justice. Read more Read less

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