The Item

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Described by helmer Dan Clark as "a modern art-exploitation flick," his feature debut "The Item" is more exploitation than art and more a midnight pic than a legit entry in a festival's dramatic competition.

Described by helmer Dan Clark as “a modern art-exploitation flick,” his feature debut “The Item” is more exploitation than art and more a midnight pic than a legit entry in a festival’s dramatic competition. As scripter and director, Clark shows some technical talent for combining graphic violence with slapstick humor, but he lacks the disciplined ability to tell his flimsy story in an engaging manner. Before the pic goes any further, it needs to be sent back to the editing room to shed 15 minutes of its running time.

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As strange as it may sound, prior to “The Item,” Wandering Monkey, the production unit responsible for this film, specialized in children’s programming with emphasis on effects-driven creations that feature digital, animatronic and puppet work. Latter aspects are very much evident in the dark, occasionally hilarious tale that seems to have been imagined by an adolescent. Fashioned like a midnight comic-book film, “The Item” contains some wildly cartoonish moments full of slapstick mayhem, but they are unfortunately contained in an unappealing yarn that’s often weird for weird’s sake.

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Pic begins well, as four felons are hired by an anonymous client via the Internet and are instructed to travel to a remote desert location to get a certain “item.” They are to keep the mysterious item safe for a day, until the client will collect it and pay them for their services.

The felons take the item to the apartment of Rita (Judy Jean Kwon), an art student whose crib (covered in disturbing baby doll sculptures) seems to be a safe place for it. Curiosity being what is it, however, they begin to examine the item, only to discover a plump worm harnessed to a low-tech life-support container. Surprisingly, the item turns out to be chatty, with a knack for seeing through people and unraveling personal truths.

Tale’s second half consists of brief encounters with the item, leading to ludicrously bloody results when, one by one, the crew members are eliminated. It’s here that Clark misfires, approximating in his approach Robert Rodriguez’s film philosophy of coming up with “inventive” ways of slashing and terminating his cast. (Mark Villalobos deservedly gets a “blood effects” citation in the end credits.)

One can’t blame the thesps for delivering irritating, over-the-top performances, particularly Ron Fitzgerald as Dr. Ody, though in the lead role, the beautiful Dawn Marie Velasquez rises above the rest, demonstrating potential as an intriguing action heroine.

Since humor and narrative ingenuity are spread thin here, “The Item” quickly turns into an enervating experience. Tech credits, particularly Michael Mayhew’s lensing and Kristina Alg’s production design, are colorful and campy, but they decorate a movie that overextends its welcome and leaves one with a bad taste in the mouth.

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The Item

  • Production: A Trillion Entertainment presentation of a Wandering Monkey Project, in association with Silver Sage Prods., of a Don Asher production. Produced by Don Asher. Executive producers, Christine and Laurent Zilber. Co-producers, David Pressler, Michael Mayhew. Directed, written by Dan Clark.
  • Crew: Camera (color) Michael Mayhew; editor, Mayhew; music, Howard Drossin; production designer, Kristina Alg; art director, Katie Middlebrook; set decorators, Christine Ramirez; sound (Dolby), Tim Gardemer; makeup, Ken Niederbaumer; special effects, Nick Plantico, Jim Fredberg, Corey Roberts; associate producers, Paula Lauterbach, Ramon Pirouzian. Reviewed at Sundance Film Festival (competing), Jan. 28, 1999. Running time: 100 MIN.
  • With: Lauren - Dawn Marie Velasquez Alex - Dan Clark Martin - Dave Pressler Fatty - Dan Lake Dr. Ody - Ron Fitzgerald Nurse Nicky - Romy Sharf Rita - Judy Kean Kwon Joseph - Kyle B. Cunningham

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